I have two agenda items to throw out on the table today.
1. The phenomenon of my file keeping.
2. The overly large knives at The Outback.
Okay... item #1
As you will see from the picture below, I have recently uncovered an awful truth about myself as it relates to filing. That being, I grossly misunderstood the concept of keeping business files for 7 years and somehow carried that over into my personal life. Shall I explain...I thought you may be curious.
After feeling the exhilaration of being able to unpack boxes after 4 years, I was, lets just say, disturbed by what appears to be my obsessive habit of keeping every shred of paper I have ever received in the last 10 years. Try and hold back your gasps of surprise here folks. I know, this seems so unlike me ;)
Now, I am sure you are sitting there thinking that I must be exaggerating...after all, this is Lesli. Alas, you would be wrong in your assumption. I seriously saved every bill, receipt, letter, invoice...you name it since before college. In fact, while weeding through the never ending pile of file madness I found a cancelled check for Field Hockey pants that I ordered in 1994. Yes, you read that correctly, I wrote 1994. Ahhh, but the insanity does not end there. As my father looked on in horror at what was obviously a lesson gone horribly wrong...a new conundrum emerged. The concept of LETTING GO! I couldn't fathom the idea that I had kept all of these things for no good reason what so ever and now I had to send them to the "not so untimely" end. The Shredder is NOT my friend. However, after my third bag full of shredded tidbits of my life...it became almost therapeutic...then it moved to down right exhilaration. That's right....I was a shredding machine....I am CLEANSED of my paper forever. hahahahahahahaha.
Okay...Item # 2. Are the gigantic knives really necessary? Really? Wouldn't you think that you would want to use a small knife so that it would make the steak look bigger? Is there some deep-seated desire by the wait staff to watch us struggle and look ridiculous with the over-sized utensil. Was the maker of these knives a colossus? Am I REALLY that small that they just seem big to me, but really they are just your average everyday knife for everyone else? Perhaps in Australia it is customary for little women to use big knife if order to exert a sense of power and control over her steak which is really just a symbol for the men in her life. Or better yet, perhaps the men find it somehow attractive and enticing to see women yielding such a large and power knife over an Innocent and helpless slab of meat. Hmmm..... Or maybe they just thought they looked cool. THEY ARE SILLY and they must be stopped!
So....happy Monday to All.
P.S My Countertop cracked and I have no cooktop.
Please take note of my calm, cool, collectedness. It is just a stone. It shall be fixed.
I believe that noise you hear ringing in your ear is... perhaps...a leaf turning....hahahahhahahahaha
5 comments:
"We serve dead plants and animals in a dimly lit environment." -The Outback motto. If you want weak, dull knives and microwaved food, go to Houlihans or Fridays or something. Plus.. those knives are easy to roll up in napkins to set the tables at the end of the night.
More importantly... what did you order at the Outback?
you have clearly lost your mind
There is nothing better than turning old phone bills (from 1997) into confetti!
And, yes the jumbo Outback steak knives make women look sexier.... That's why I like to watch my lovely wife clear brush in the back yard--with a machete....
No Crocodile Dundee jokes? I'm disappointed. Now THIS is a knife!
I'm surprised you have not found some craft project for your decade of shredded life.
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