Did you just call me little girl??

....I think to myself as I am sitting in the car dealership last night.  I look to my left and tilt me head.  Mom confirms.  Yes, in fact, he just stated "John, can you go run over there and run these numbers here for this little girl, she is convinced she can get a better rate."

Hmm, Check please!

It did not stop there...I got called cute, missy, honey, kiddo, kiddy pie, and little girl, all in one night and all by one person.  Steve, the car salesman.  That was just the tip of the iceberg too.  This guy gave all car dealers a bad name.  He tried all the tricks and in the end, refused...flat out refused to meet me half way on anything.  Not to mention John the guy who said he was doing me a favor by offering me $3500 for my car.  Are you freaking kidding me!  Jay got $2500 for a 1999 Rodeo that didn't even run!   This man knew I was coming in to test drive the car, and he did ZERO research on the vehicle.  I knew more than he did about the car.  He didn't even know what size tires were on it.  Lord love a duck.  Did I miss the memo that said the auto industry was no longer struggling?

The car was beautiful and it took a lot to walk away, but walk away I did.  Even if they could meet me half way, I don't think I would be able to swallow my pride enough to actually give them my money. Nope.  However.......

Fast forward to this afternoon at lunch.  I walk into the Ford dealership near my office.  I had not gone in there originally because last week they did not have any pre-owned Explorers.  But I thought, let's see what this week holds.  WELL....talk about a 180!  I got greeted at the door with a cup of coffee, had a great YOUNG" salesperson who knew the Explorer inside and out.  He had one on the lot that had almost everything I wanted.  He even had them look at my car super fast....and the trade in..more than double what the last place was offering, and without batting an eyelash. They said my car was in great shape and they washed and vacuumed it for me!  I know!   Crazy! 

In the end...I have champagne taste on a beer budget and will drive my little baby a little longer, but Carlos...you redeemed the dealership experience.....for me.  

I know why the Youth of Today are FAT!

Because it is freakin' cheaper to by a Playstation and every game that can be played on it than it is to buy a bicycle.  

Seriously, I had absolutely no idea how ridiculously expensive road bikes are..  aggggggggg.  I love my mountain bike, it is the greatest bike, but I have quickly discovered that it is not the bike I want to use for the triathlon.  It is like I am dragging a person behind me while I peddle.  Now, thinking back to my younger days, you could get a road bike anywhere.  Maybe not olympic quality, but a decent bike could be found for 100 bucks.  If you were crafty like my dad, you would get used bikes at the Rocky Hill Flea Market, fix it up and you were good to go for 20 bucks!  Ahhh how I miss those days.  I tried consignment, demos, used, trade ups, everything and the cheapest road bike I could find was $500.  If I wanted to go with a sport performance bike (flat bar) they were $400, but not ideal.  And to think, an actual Triathlon bike was 1800!  Yikes. Stripes. Fruit Striped Gum!  

I can't imagine how parents afford to get their kids bikes anymore.  For crying out loud, Target and Walmart bikes were $200.  I went to both today to buy a garbage can and sundries and was curious to see if the madness continued at the big stores.  So I looked at the bikes.  I was floored at how much they were.   I was even more surprised to learn that stores like Dick's, Sports Authority, etc...don't even sell road bikes.   This triathlon is going to bankrupt me before it kills me.   Oh...and the fact that I am pint sized doesn't help.  Who makes extra small frames anyway, 44cm was almost too big :)

Do You Want to Feel My Spatula?

I believe this is my new mantra to get me motivated.

In honor of my complete sluglike physicial shape, I netflixed Run Fat Boy Run. First of all, hilarious movie. It has the same characters as Hot Fuzz, another great movie and I think I may have actually burned a few calories laughing last night.

Anywhooooooooooooooooooooo..... as we all know, my motivation has been somewhat..umm..questionable..these last few days. So, in order to motivate Dennis (aka fat boy) his loving and very interesting assistant trainer/coach, Mr. Ghoshdashtidar would threaten him with a good spanking with his spatula if he started to lag.

Dennis: [surprised] What are you doing here?

Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: I'm the assistant coach.

Dennis: How'd you get to be assistant coach?

Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: Because I have the spatula! [whacks Dennis with it]

For some reason...I don't know why, the thought of a spatula spanking cracked me up and I have decided that this is what will keep me going so I don't here Run, Fat Girl Run, in August!

Now, the question is.....who will maintain control of said spatula???? Any Takers?

How Can I be Motivated....

...when I have to do 75 things before I am actually ready to go out and do my training for the tri?

No, it is never easy hear at Pemberly. OH NO! It is not just a matter of getting the new equipment for the bike, installing it, and then off I go on a ride. Nope. If it worked that way I would know that it is really the end of the world and I should prepare for the end of life as we know it. All I wanted to do was get the bike ready with some new toys and then take her out for a little spin. Not so much. First, I could not get the bike out of the garage. Why? Well last fall dad and I installed these great hooks to jack the bikes up to the ceiling of the garage in order to give more room. Awsome, however, I don't think that should have given dad the "go ahead" to pile as much stuff as humanly possible underneath them. As a result, it took me moving the lawn mower, two chairs, a saw table, Christmas decorations, and kayak paddles to actually get the bike down. Motivation Dwindling.

Get the bikes out and check the tires. Little air. Perfect. With that done, all I had to do was attached the water bottle holder and the odometer. Easy Peaasy Lemon Squeezy. Oh wait, this is me, what am I thinking. Well, I have a hybrid bike so there was no place for the water bottle and the screws were not long enough. I had to use zip ties to hold it on and then the stinking thing would not stay in place. Easy job...took 45 minutes. Motivation continues to dwindle.

Odometer....too complicated to explain on a blog. After almost an hour, it was lined up and registerd. Ready to go. Ummmm...getting colder out and Motivation is at all time low. NG> I had to go in and change my clothes at this point because it was now to cold and windy to go biking in shorts. Clothes changed and I am ready to go, I start to ride and notice that one of my brake pads is rubbing alittle. Need to ajust. Okay, done. When all was said and done, I only had enough time to get in a 4 mile ride before it had gotton too dark. Man.

Well Fiddle de dee. Tomorrow is another day.

The Oozing Eye Returns

Yup, that's right folks. I do not disappoint. 2009 is here and LAP has yet another strange health incident to put on my list. Well, this isn't really strange, but of course it wasn't the average every day cold either. This should not surprise anyone. I will spare you all the pictures on this one!

Anyway, a few months back I had an irritation with my eye and it caused it to ooze some lovely white gunk and I had to go to the emergency eye doctor and get steroids put it my eye. It was supposed to go away. Well, in the doctors defense, it did go away, for about 3 months. That said, this weekend while playing serious weekend warrior design star at my sister's house, the wonderful eye bump/gunk/ooze returned. This time it was not messing around. By Monday my eye was so big my eyelid couldn't close. I immediately made an appointment with the eye doctor and he took one look and went... "oh dear, if this is a good day for your eye, we have our work cut out for us." He then said, " Looks like we will need to do non-operative removal" Quickly followed by " It sounds worse than it really is.".

Needless to say, I went in on Wednesday, head strapped in tight, and it felt like I was having a giant zit popped on my eye. So Gross. And I couldn't see for the rest of the day. I have to go back in two weeks to be sure it doesn't need to be completely removed. However....................I now have a beautiful eye again. This of course is after I took my pirate patch off that made me look like One-Eyed Willie's little sister. Only Me!

I just wanted a Nibblet

So last night, on the way back from Boston, my mom and I decided that we need a little something for the ride home. Just a little snack to munch on. So we decided to stop at a DD right before getting on the highway. Now, we had recently had an interesting experience a at a McDonald's on this road, so my guard was already up...but I thought, nahhh...it was a fluke.

First issue, nothing on this road has a drive thru. No idea why, but it is weird. So we pull up and I go to get out and I see a women mopping the floor. I ask if they are open and she just stares at me. So I gesture to the guy behind the counter and he mouths the word open...no nod, no hand wave to come in...luckily, I can read lips! So I get out of the car and enter the store, see a wall full of donuts and think...great. Lots of choices. So I order the coffees and a coffee bun. I can see the coffee bun. But the man says, no. I order a chocolate covered donut. Again, No. I order a Boston creme. No. Finally I say, okay, you tell me what I can order and I will get that. He then says, you can not have any of these, they are too old to sell. More than 4 hours old. Okay. So I then ask if there is anything we can eat. He happily says yes, there are fresh donuts in the back, he will get us 2~

Yay. I don't even bother to ask what kind, at this point I just want the goods and get out of there. Although I do wonder to myself why the old donuts are in the front and new donuts in the back...but oh well. He comes back, with a little goddie bag, charges me 12 cents (should I be concerned?) for each and I leave with bag in tow. I am already laughing because I just know something is up here. After opening every door in the car(...that is a story for another time....)I finally get in and drive away. Mom opens the bag and we find two sugar donuts. Not bad. Well...until I bit into the deliciously "fresh" donut....that was hard as a rock. Nice!

And the Training Begins

Tune in for the adventures of Triathlon Boot Camp! SmallShoo Style.

That's right folks, I am determined to check this one off of the list. It has been lingering out there for probably 8 years and I have just been a chicken Sh@#$##t.

Not anymore my friends, the training antics officially began on Sunday March 1st. I will be competing in the Wild Dog Sprint Triathlon on Sunday August 16, 2009 in Colt State Park, Bristol, RI.

I am still not quite sure what I have gotten myself into, and judging by how sore and uncomfortable my body is after only 3 days of training....I have a feeling I am in for a wild ride. I'll keep you all posted on my progress and of course, all of the ridiculous and silly things that I am sure will come along with it. If blogging stops for a long period of time, it is possible that I have taken on more than I can chew and am lost on a bike path some where hoping I can get a ride home and get a refund on the Triathlon registration.

More to come. (Did I happen to mention every muscle hurts :) )

The Real Results Are In

Thank you all for your votes on the smoking and tantrum question of the week. I can see that I am friends with a group of very polite and diplomatic people. I wish I could say the same about some people in the business world.

Real results from said Stale smoke issue.....

One person politely and diplomatically asked for the removal of the coat. The other person had a tantrum and at one point threw a coat rack. Ahhh, the joys of corporate America.