Confessions of a Horny Cat

I walk into my house after work and this is what I am greeted with...

At first blush, it looks like I am a slob who has cold feet. To the untrained eye it is nothing more than a lazy cat waiting for a belly rub. Ahhhhh, but to those who know my Spike-y-poo, you know that this is nothing more than horny, crazy cat, debauchery...caught in the act!

I swear I was waiting for Spike to open his mouth and say " Hey lady...ya wanna pass me a cigarette?" I began laughing so hard I almost fell over. I dropped all bags and and ran to the bathroom to avoid any unfortunate accidents.

History and reason for the loss of all control:
Ever since he was a little kitten, Spike has had a very naughty obsession with my fuzzy slippers. When he was a tiny tiny baby I would find him humping my slipper in the middle of the night and making the smallest of meows. He would just look up at me with these really shameful eyes. "I know mommy...but I just can't help it." It got so bad that I began to put my slippers in the closets upstairs so that he could not get at them.

Fast forward to present day:
Well, apparently his addiction has escalated and he has since learned to open the closet door. When I saw him on the floor, all stretched out and content from what was obviously a wild ménage á quatre...all I could picture was how he must have looked burrowing into the closet, then carrying each slipper down the stairs and placing them strategically on the floor. These slippers are almost as big as he is. It must have been hilarious to watch.

Later that night I brought the slippers upstairs and put them next to the bed to see what would happen. Caught in the act again. There he was, tiny teeth and all, dragging one slipper at a time out of the room. When I got up the next morning for a shower, this is what I found.

I think he needs help. (And I need new slippers)